Moments when tears literally forming in my eyes

Seriously, I do feel emotionally down for today. Don't know why, maybe cause of the overwhelming feeling I have and the expectation I have for myself. It's bringing me to tear whenever I thought of it. Especially when I'm not doing anything about my r/s with my family. Why am I not doing anything? Is it cause i don't feel that it's important? Gosh. Angie told me last week to spend time with them yet I didn't and when Brenda told me again. It was like a reminder over and over again, yet I still ignore and shaft it away. What if something bad were to happen and I didn't do anything about it again? Am I ready to face the consequences? Really have I thought of it before? And the answer is no. My heart will simply be crashed deeply. I'm definitely unable to withstand anymore heartbreaking moments right now, deep down inside me I'm trying so hard to recover asap. Just to really do my best to reach out to the people out there. C'mon Derrick! Fight fight fight. Be with me Lord for these battle isn't earthly. I need you to overcome all these tough challenges.

Another tough and surprising week is ahead of me,

God is with me.