Maybe this is what i need, right now.
Today, I went to school for like 30-40minutes of lecture which is srsly a waste of time but i still attended it. And I ended school like at 1:40pm. I was eating Macdonald alone in NYP. I don't know why but i just feel like I'm a loner once again. This sucks to the core.
Waited at the same place for about 2hrs for SHARON and she's still at the polyclinic! So I decided to meet LPY at town area first.
Ate YamiYogurt! window-shopped around Ion for quite awhile till LPY arrived and we went to buy Macarons to try them. It taste weird & sweet! Something special and tasty that I could say.
Met up w Angelo & Sharon and off we go to shop around Ion. But nothing srsly catches my eyes. I have the urge to buy things but I just don't feel like buying now!
After that I ate my Shi Ling mee sua in 15 minutes which was remarkable. It has been a long time since I ate so fast! And off our way to Church.
During our fellowship time, the first thing that Sherry said to me was Am I feeling sad? Cause my face was gloomy. I said Nope. And when she asked the second time I was really thinking deep & wonder if I'm really feeling sad & i said yes maybe is because i didn't buy any stuff. But i guess it was just an excuse.
And when I was about to leave, Pamela asked me the third time! It strike me badly & I have the tendency to say Yes. But I just said no.
I guess subconsciously I was pretending to be put a smile on my face which I didn't even know
I really do feel sad when I was thinking deep while I was walking home. Recently obstacles just keep pouring onto me. I just felt quite stressed up & challenged. The feeling of it just suddenly proof and affects my mood. My friend said lots of stuff & it's like a wake up call for me. I felt challenged & I should have that kinda perception too.
Out of a sudden, yesterday my Dad asked me to visit my grandma more often and I felt quite heartbreaking when my dad tells me so. The way he react was like so disheartening and worried for my grandma cause her condition seems to be deteriorating. I really pray that she'll be alright.
Me myself, felt quite insecure and I keep having the thought of getting baptized and leave the church asap. I don't know why. But I just feel so. It just doesnt feel great at all. I wish I could remove the thought!!! Just because many people fall of church doesn't mean I needa follow them. I needa know what is right to do ): I keep having the thoughts that some of my sins are undesirable but I should keep in mind that no matter what they are still sin. Surprisingly I have the courage to do so. We needa face it.
I saw my sister reading Man are from Mars and Woman are from Venus and it came to my mind that some of my friends are really it too. Is it really that awesome? :/ I should read the book real soon.
Sadness please go away.
I needa be high right now.
This moment.
