Went to church on Friday and Sunday. Amazingly I had the heart to go to church. I guess God is really awesome. He helped me so much! Something I had learnt to overcome is to be vulnerable.
Felt so hard to type out or even tell somebody what happen to me, yet I still have the courage and the ability to do so. I really take me a lot of courage and openness in order for me to do it. Even though people might ask some dumbest question ever like why I didn't cry? Why I didn't grief? Must I really grief in front of you to proof to you that I had grief? At some point of time this just strike me deeply but I glad that I'm able to really feel in their shoes maybe they want to assure that I'm vulnerable and not denying my feelings and emotions.
My grandmother is like my another mother to me. She doted me so much ever since I was born till now. I can't forget what she has done for me. Brought me to church while I was young and it really makes me wanna become a Christian so badly after that. I was the only one followed her all along. :( Never failed to remember my Birthday which already means a lot to me. Just hated myself for not being a good enough grandson. I could give more, but I just wonder why I didn't :(
Knew so much things about my grandmother after she passed away. Why I didn't know? She survived for 7 years due to Carcinoma of the lungs which was a Miracle. A miracle that God has given my grandmother. I appreciate what God has given my grandmother & me. Without her, I wouldn't be expose to Christianity. I won't know what is love is all about.
I do appreciate the brothers and sisters that came to the wake. It really do encourage me a lot. Thank you pamela, nichola, rachel, esther, puayyen, arthur, manfred, jadason & eugene. Love you guys so badly <3
There's a time to grief.
