Felt so much after today's lesson. Even right now, I'm still thinking ways to change my character and attitude to be a much spiritual person. Seriously I do. I wish I could rely on some friends in Church. But I felt I have no friends I can rely on. Hmm, maybe sisters there is? But they have their own problems and friends/sisters to manage. As for the Brothers? I guess none. Maybe it's time to get close with some of them and with God, nothing is impossible. C'mon Derrick! BE OPTIMISTIC! ^^
Just wanna say Sorry to the girl who asked me on Thursday. I truly sorry about dipping it out last minute. I really do, even though I might appear I don't care about it. But in my heart, I felt so guilty. I wonder why I don't have the courage to go. Seriously, since when did I become so timid. I can do many things without considerable but this, it just stumble me deeply. I just felt so useless in facing all this problems. It's just not me. I only could say sorry and just sorry.
It's like already 5am, yet I'm still blogging. Sigh. Out of a sudden, I just feel like breaking down and weep out all my sorrow. I sincerely feel so. The fear is just creeping me out. I don't wanna lose you but times has changed. God, I really pray that my Grandmother will be alright or in a way she won't be suffering so much. Every time, I looked at her/visit her, my heart just bleed deeply. I just feel so much and things ain't getting any better. Uncontrollable emotional arousing in my heart.
I don't think I can take it any longer. I gonna confide with someone real soon. Hate to face all these situation and problems alone. I can't stand it. My heart is weak, spirit is just not strong enough to handle. I don't wish to fall. Falling is not what I expected, however I guess I gonna face it like a Man.
Waiting outside the lines
