I completely lose myself today when my beloved patient just shook my hands. The feeling is like my grandma just shook my hands for the last time as I need to say goodbye. It just pierced through my heart, feeling so touched and soften by it. Unbelievable just a simple handshake it can makes me go gaga. Yup indeed, I'm an emotional guy. A simple handshake a simple hug a simple greeting like how are you is able to break me down deep inside of me. It really do.
I have been dwelling in it and pretending to be strong for quite some time, maybe it's time for me to break down and cry my heart out?
My attitude & feelings towards elderly changed instantly when my grandma passed. Immediate rush of emotion I had. Feeling so much for them! And I really wanna do my very best to help them to feel better or even it takes for me to get a scolding from somebody. I really do. I just don't wanna anything to happen to them. I just don't want it to.
I learn to empathize geriatric patients in a whole new level now. Something not everybody could do it, but I can finally say I can.
I do feel very amazed by the soft heart I have, able to feel for others so deeply and able to do things in a sweet way. Thank God for giving such a amazing heart to feel and to accept what others had to say about me. The bibletalk I had just now is about the heart, laziness, idleness and discipline and that really makes me ponder so deeply and really discovered that I'm a person who has lots of friends yet always feeling so lonely. That's the true me and it sucks ttm. I really needa be open to people and really change my way of thinking. God help me, Oh Lord.
I pray for a pure heart,
God guard my heart.
